Happy Christmas!
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I kept this one a bit quiet, in case some of my more timid customers might get overwhelmed by my new-found celebrity. But as the TV images focused on my smiling face rounding the final curve in the 4 x 100 litres, I knew the cat was out of the bag. Imagine – your local…
Sorry, you can say to the election canvassers: we’d love to talk but we’re having the house painted
Already the phones at Parvin Towers are ringing off the hook. Can you park a van outside our house until the election’s over? Or lend us a “Wet Paint” sign for our front door? There are serious questions to be asked of all parties: for example is Dulux’s “Striking Cyan” washable paint an anti-Labour or…
What you didn’t know about paint colours
I’m becoming an expert at boring people at parties. If you invited me round this Christmas, you’d probably regret it. It’s not as if I wander around Fulham watching paint dry, but my wife thinks I’ve been learning more about paint this year than is healthy. Take colours. There are two ways to pick your colours…
If Walls Could Talk
If walls could talk! I’ll swear that one of my walls mutters and curses under its breath, and keeps threatening to sue me for negligence. Nobody likes a whinger, so not even the other walls like that one. I just hope it can’t talk english. The remedy of course is a new coat of paint. Unemployed government scientists now think that…
