Happy Christmas!




I kept this one a bit quiet, in case some of my more timid customers might get overwhelmed by my new-found celebrity. But as the TV images focused on my smiling face rounding the final curve in the 4 x 100 litres, I knew the cat was out of the bag. Imagine – your local…
All this rain is causing damp problems to homes all over London, even in areas which have avoided flooding. I hope you’ve not had any serious damage, but I thought you might want to know the main things to watch out for. Water can get into walls through various ways, including: Cracked or missing roof tiles Gaps around door and window frames Breaks in…
I sat down to write a calm informed article about BluTak, and why it is the Devil’s work when it comes near nicely painted interior walls. And what did I find, dear reader, in a quick Google search: a Council Health & Safety order banning use of BluTak on windows in a Scottish school on…
Already the phones at Parvin Towers are ringing off the hook. Can you park a van outside our house until the election’s over? Or lend us a “Wet Paint” sign for our front door? There are serious questions to be asked of all parties: for example is Dulux’s “Striking Cyan” washable paint an anti-Labour or…
I’m becoming an expert at boring people at parties. If you invited me round this Christmas, you’d probably regret it. It’s not as if I wander around Fulham watching paint dry, but my wife thinks I’ve been learning more about paint this year than is healthy. Take colours. There are two ways to pick your colours…
If walls could talk! I’ll swear that one of my walls mutters and curses under its breath, and keeps threatening to sue me for negligence. Nobody likes a whinger, so not even the other walls like that one. I just hope it can’t talk english. The remedy of course is a new coat of paint. Unemployed government scientists now think that…